Feed me some BULLSHIT & I’ll throw up in your face!

20130307-102551.jpg

Do you ever notice how men think that they need to romance you, tell you they like you and want to be with you in order to fuck you. Then once they do they are over it and move on? Do they not realize that women want sex too? Women don’t always need to be lubed up in order for you to get it in. Romance movies have ruined our lives! Men think they have to promise a woman the world, buy her flowers, whisper (text) sweet nothings into her ear, in order to get her into bed. Let me let you in on a little reality gentlemen. Women for the most part, make up their minds within the first 5 minutes whether or not they are going to sleep with you. No matter what you say they have already decided. In fact the more you say could actually kill your chances of getting laid.

So here are some tips:

  1. Be Respectful: Just because the goal is sex does not mean that the idea of respect goes out the window. Aretha Franklin had it right, all that anyone wants is a little respect. Just a little bit. Oh yeah, just a little bit. You can still get to your end game, while respecting her but not leading her on.
  2. Giver Her A Giggle: Easing the mood will help put her in the right frame of mind. Of course alcohol always helps but laughter is a better tool. It lightens the mood and keeps things on a level that isn’t so serious. When a girl is happy and smiling there is no limit to what you can accomplish.
  3. Stroke It: Mae West once stated, “Flattery will get you everywhere” and she was right. Now I’m not saying outright lie to the girl or to lay it on so thick that she thinks you want more than just sex, but tell her a few nice things about herself and more than likely she will respond positively.

On the opposite side there are some things that you should avoid. Women are not fragile creatures that will fall to pieces at the first sign of their fairytale being crap. Not every girl wants you to be her prince charming. Some women just want you to be their gentleman caller. You come, you service and you don’t let the door hit you in the ass on your way out. That being said there are ways to avoid pissing her off after the fact.

Things not to do:

  1. Fairytale Haze: Dont lay it on too thick. Don’t tell her about your hopes and dreams of marriage and family. Don’t talk about the 2 of you as a “We” and don’t talk about plans for any future date with her.
  2. Liar Liar: Dont make up false hoods about your life. Don’t try to make yourself seem bigger and badder than you actually are. If the girl is smart she will see through it and sex has just been taken off the table and if they girl is an idiot and believes you than later on you have a very angry girl on your hands.
  3. Flirting Only: You can flirt and get your way a lot faster than you can with lies. Just keep it light and friendly!

It is hit and miss as far as your chances of getting laid go but you are less likely to leave man hating women in your wake of bullshit if you are honest more times than not. If you feed a girl some Bullshit be prepared to have her throw up or blow up in your face. You want to see a girl go really crazy…….lead her on and piss her off.

 

Advertisements

Liar Liar, Pants on…..Bitch be Honest!

Liar__liar__pants_on_fire__by_idontknowdoyou

I have never personally been a liar, thats not say I haven’t lied once or twice in my adult life but I don’t exactly consider myself a liar. The times I have lied as an adult were mainly lies that I told to my mother. What I want to talk about is when men and women lie to each other and the psychology behind it. I have had experiences myself and many many experiences from my friends that have led to me write about this subject. It is plain and simple, people lie for 2 reasons in my opinion: They lie to get or keep what they want and they lie out of fear, usually fear of loss. Don’t get it twisted now, just because I am explaining the reasons people lie, that DOES NOT mean I am excusing it by any means. Man the fuck up and speak the truth!

Lying For Personal Gain:

Men and women do this shit all of the time! They lie about their status, their job, their interests. They lie about liking football or being accepting of someone’s friends. They act like they like your family or the way you dress on your down time. They put on a shit ton of makeup or what I have heard of recently, they are a “build-a-bitch.” They are a chick that has so much extra going on that they don’t even look like old pictures of themselves. That shit goes for guys too! People lie these days for so many reasons but the base motivation that Im talking about is personal gain.

Recently my girl was complaining about her ex and trying to figure out why he would want her to be his girlfriend but would go behind her back and want to fuck other girls. I swear I wanted to smack her when she asked, “Why would he lie to me about it though? I just don’t understand.” My response was, “Bitch because he wanted to keep your ass! DUH!” I love her but that was probably the dumbest question I have ever heard. Common sense please! If a man or woman lies about cheating or doing something that they know you wont approve of its because they FEAR that they will loose you but they still want to do what they want to do. Its that simple!

Just because I am explaining the motives for lying does not mean I am saying its ok. Stop being such a pussy! I have a motto that I live by, “You only live this life once. Never be sorry for who you are or what you want.” I pretty much never lie to a man. I am ALWAYS honest and forthright even when it isn’t solicited mainly because I have nothing to fear. If you don’t like me, ALL OF ME, then you are going to be in for a huge headache later and so am I. I am not so desperate for a fucking companion and company that I am willing to lie to get or keep someone. Its bullshit! Take stock of your own life, who you are and how you live. Only when you are comfortable with you, will being honest become easy. There is no excuse for not evolving.

Don’t be “That girl”

So I have this friend, we will call her Jamie. Jamie is, smart, free spirited, highly motivated, highly sexual, and what I would consider the ultimate independent woman. She has the same attention span I do when it comes to men. The most recent interaction has led me to create this blog entry.

About a week ago a friend of a friend of hers was in town. Jamie being the girl she is, naturally social, became instant tour guide and hang out buddy. Out of the 10 days he was here, all of them were spent with her and 9 out of 10 were in her bed. They ate together, they drank together, they fucked like rabbits, he professed to her how amazing she was and in the end she sent him home with a smile on his face and a crazy plan to move to be near her. (She is that good lol) Now mind you this entire time she was under the impression that he was uninvolved. When he got home he told her about professing to his “roommate” how amazing she was, and his “roommate” flipped out on him. Jamie thought nothing of it because he made it seem as if this “roommate” was just a friend (ironically sharing her name, Jamie) whom he had no idea had feelings for him. This was however a horribly crafted lie on his part and Jamie would soon learn the truth in the form of a 3am text message from an unknown number. The other Jamie in this guys life, the “roommate,” was in fact not a roommate at all! She was his girlfriend!!!!! Are you fucking kidding me?!?!?!? This girl did the ultimate dumb ass move. She texts my friend to find out who she is and what the real story is. How did she get my friends number you ask? Well if it isn’t obvious yet, she went through her boyfriends phone. The issue here isn’t whether she went through his phone, but the fact that she went on to further embarrass herself by contacting my friend to find out details. This dumbass dude didn’t even have the common liar/cheater skills to delete texts like most guys do. So she read everything. Now mind you they are pretty graphic texts so him changing the name in his phone to “John” didn’t exactly do him any good. So now not only is he a cheater but a fucking idiot as well. And his girlfriend should not only be embarrassed that she continues to be with someone who cheats on her but that she contacts the girl to tell her to “leave him alone.” This is to be a joke! And this is where my previously stated title comes in, “Don’t be That Girl.”

Ladies if I have said it once I have said it a thousand times. HAVE SOME FUCKING PRIDE!!!!!! There should never be a point in your life as an adult woman that you go after a girl over a guy. It makes you look pathetic, weak and unnatractive. You should be embarrassed! In fact I know I said adult woman, but even I have not ever gone after a girl as a teenager over a guy. If there has been one upside to my immense sense of pride, that would be it. Fighting over a guy who cheats on you is like getting into a wrestling match in a kiddy pool of steaming hot dog shit. You may win the fight……but ur covered in DOG SHIT! Seriously……..THINK ABOUT IT.