Do Opposites Attract??? Or Blow Up In Your Face?

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Its all well and good if you 2 are night and day but if your differences are causing fights all day and night then you have a problem on your hands that no amount of proclaiming “opposites attract’ will help rationalize. A good relationship depends on a lot of factors but as it pertains to “opposites attract” it more depends on how you handle those factors. Are you understanding of your partners quarks and are they understanding of yours? You need to have more in common than your love of burritos and action movies. Of course no one wants to date themselves but if your “opposites attracts” refers to your core non-negotiables then no amount of attraction is going to help.

Depending on the type of person you are and where you are in your life, you will at some point date your opposite. The best thing about dating your opposite is that you are constantly challenged. You are exposed to the traits that you lack leaving you to go all Jerry Maguire on the person proclaiming “You complete me.” You see it all the time! The good girl falls for the bad boy who treats her like shit or the shy guy at work falls for the wild child party girl. The really sweet guy falls for the controlling bossy bitch, leaving his friends totally confused as to why he isn’t dating the nice girl next door.

Many people are attracted to their opposites only to find that as time goes on you are far more different that you ever suspected. Ask yourself this: after the honeymoon period is over, are the things you once found cute still cute or do they make you want to shove your partner in front of the nearest moving bus? A lot of people these days are so eager to shack up that they COMPLETELY  ignore every single red flag that pops up. In one conversation 10 deal breakers can come up and through the haze of delusion, both people will ignore things that will have them wanting to kill each other 6 months later. If you know that your boyfriends friends are annoying as hell and you hate all of them, there is a chance that you wont get along for very long. If your girlfriend hates kids and you want a tribe, your relationship is doomed. There are things to consider when entering into a relationship and if you choose to ignore them in the hopes they will change you are bound to fail. Ask yourself this: Would you change who you are for them?

 

 

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Throw A Bitch Fit & I Will Treat You Like A Bitch.

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The dating world is a jungle! I have never really dated before but now that I’m older I’m trying it out. I like to call our generation the “Shack up Generation” because we don’t date these days, we hook up and are inseparable then we breakup and repeat. So instead of implementing this failing and immature plan of action I have decided to go against the grain. I am dating left and right! Just so I don’t confuse you when I say dating, I mean I go out on dates at restaurants with guys who ask me out.

Recently I was asked out but because of prior plans I wasn’t able to go out with him. I’m thinking it’s no big deal that we can schedule dinner for another day. Apparently that was not the case. This guy legitimately threw a bitch fit. He got pissed at me and his texts went from nice to short and rude. I was shocked! It had been a while since I had come across a man who threw bitch fits like a woman on her rag. I was actually so caught off guard that I really had no idea how to respond. I mean do I treat him like my 4-year-old nephew when he throws a fit? Should I reprimand him? Or should I just not talk to him anymore? I decided to rip him a new asshole. I know you are so surprised. LOL I informed him immediately that I didn’t know what his problem was but his behavior was not going to be tolerated by me. I am not the chick! He didn’t like that very much so instead he just didn’t answer back.

Here is the thing guys, if you act like a bitch you will get treated like one. You will get scolded for you poor behavior and then quickly cut off. I have no tolerance for childish behavior in a man and if a woman is smart she will recognize your reactions as red flags and keep it moving. Ladies if a man throws a fit or if you see any other shady or unacceptable behavior have the conviction to cut him off IMMEDIATELY. Otherwise later on down the line you will have a bigger problem on your hands.

 

# Puppies

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My friends and I like to call them “Pound Puppies” but if you are unfamiliar with this term then maybe you will recognize the term  “Scrub.” The Urban Dictionary defines a “Scrub” as: A dude who acts like a player or like he is something but really has nothing. A broke guy with no car, no job, no girl, etc. A loser with nothing to offer a woman. I am not sure why recently these guys have been coming out of the wood works but I have come across more than one in the past few weeks, which let me tell you at the age of 27, this should not be happening. TLC had it right, “He cant’t get no love from me.”

So last night my girl and I are hanging out at her place. I needed a night in and some cute boy entertainment so this dude and his brother were supposed to come over and hang out. They are both adorable and nice so Im thinking it should be chill. One ends up coming without the other instead of both of them which is only the first problem. He was supposed to pick up alcohol and bring it with him on his way and shows up without it and while hanging out with this guy we find out that not only is he not yet employed but younger than we originally thought as well. The later it gets the more Im getting tired and I want to go to sleep so my girl and I decide it is time for him to go home. Oh wait! It gets better. LOL He has no fucking car! He actually got dropped off and either thought he was going to spend the night or we were going to take him home. Are you fucking kidding me? Everything in me wanted to be an asshole and tell him to take a cab but I couldn’t do that. So we got in my car and drove him home.

The entire way home my girl and I were laughing and bitching about “Pound Puppies” guys that need to be rescued or taken care of and how the hell we ended up with one. I mean it was comedy. We are both 27 and looking at each other in complete dismay. Did we really just have to drive this guy home? Did that just happen? It makes me wonder how often does this happen to other girls. Do these men actually think its acceptable to be a bum? We are grown and even if you have a shitty ride at least you have a ride! Men have their shit together and on point. This was clearly a little boy and women don’t date little boys.

False Advertising: The Pitfalls of Internet Lust

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Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, MySpace (depending on your era) E Harmony, and other social networking sites have morphed our world into a nearly unrecognizable place. We have gone from meeting people in our town or city to meeting people from all over the world. Instead of one of your friends setting you up with one of their friends, Facebook gives you “People you may know” suggestions. Rather than meeting someone new at a bar, E Harmony runs through your entire life history and finds your “Perfect match.” A guy or girl doesn’t walk up to you just to tell you they find you beautiful or handsome, they like your picture on Instagram or follow you on Twitter. Yes it is true that the dating world has changed, but the far more dangerous component to social media flirting is the photos that portray sexy, slim, in shape, or model-esque when the reality is beyond lacking.

Jamie Lee Curtis did the women of this world a favor in 2006 when she bared all in an un-mistakingly brave photo shoot for Moore Magazine. She showed the before and after effects of airbrushing and Photoshop. In an effort to dispel the idea that she is still the thin, ripped 35-year-old woman from “True Lies” dancing in her thong and bra, Jamie Lee Curtis shocked the world by posing in her underwear without Photoshop. On one side she wore only her panties and sports bra while on the other side a sexy black dress. She blew the doors wide open on the lie that is photo editing.  These days everything is manipulated! The person you meet and the person you see in pictures does not always match up.

Recently while working an event as a Promo Model I met a really nice girl who was to be my partner in crime that day. She was sweet and personable but a little on the thick side for modeling. We exchanged information as I usually do when I meet a cool girl. The next night while lounging on my couch I decided to troll her Facebook and take a look at what she’s got going on. While checking out her pictures I found myself feeling sorry for all the guys who would go through her profile getting excited about the bombshell they just found only to later discover the terrible truth. These poor guys see that they have mutual friends, so there is hope! Maybe they can meet! Little do they know in her pictures, she has been reshaped, smoothed out, directed and there is some serious lighting happening. She has the fake eyelashes, the smokey eye, push up bra, and big teased hair with extensions. Her body is twisted to make her appear thinner than she is and if that didn’t work the photographer went to town with Photoshop. Let me tell you this, not only is she shorter than me and I’m 5 foot 3 inches, but she has at least 15 pounds on me as well.

I call BULLSHIT!!!! It’s false advertising at it’s best. It boggles my mind that women and men take pride in these pictures which portray them as either super models or greek gods, meanwhile on planet earth they are really quite homely. What is a guy or girl supposed to do when they come across your picture only to regret what you look like in real life? Americans are quite sue happy yes but if there is anything that should be an actionable offense it would be this. I myself have never dated anyone I met from a social networking site but I do know many people who have. Some have worked out and some have not, so in today’s world of social media, where the ability to meet new people has expanded exponentially, I have to ask myself where does the fantasy end and the reality begin?

5 Yard Penalty!

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I’m going to let you in on a little known secret: Amongst women there are a few sexual situations that we don’t count as actual sex and therefore we don’t count you as someone we have had sex with. They range and usually being the creative creatures women are, we will take liberties with the known situations and add or alter them. They are ever-changing but we do stick to a core few.

  1. 2 Pump Chump: “What the hell was that?!?!?!” is usually the phrase running through a girl’s head and if your lucky it doesn’t come out of her mouth as she is kicking you the fuck out of her bed, house and life. If the sex lasted less than 10 seconds, that shit didn’t count. That wasn’t real sex! She didn’t even have the opportunity to TRY to finish. If her tampon has seen more action in her V than your dick………you can rest assured you are NOWHERE on her “list” of guys she has slept with. 
  2. If a tree falls in the forest…… I know most of you has heard the saying, “If a tree falls in the forest and nobody is around to hear it, does it make a sound?” Well the same goes for a sexual experiences not remembered. Most girls will tell you what they don’t remember didn’t happen. There is an exception to this rule though. If a girl is consistently loaded and fucks anything she can get her venus fly trap on but remembers none of it cuz she is ALWAYS drunk, she is a hoe and there is no erasing all of those partners.
  3. Total Recall: This is on tricky one. If the sounds of his growling and grunting combined with his weird ass “O Face” have left her wanting to burn her memory with acid and start over “Total Recall” style, then it didn’t happen. She will scrub that one from her list.
  4. Is it in yet??? “Go long!!!!!!” Yeah right! When that is NOT the case, a flag is thrown and they get a 5 yard penalty! Little dick doesn’t count. Have you ever heard that saying, “Baby dicks belong on babies” ? Well if you didnt know, now you know. If the phrase, “Is it in yet?” EVER comes out of her mouth then you are not someone she has had sex with.
  5. Whiskey Dick: If as a result of too much alcohol or any other substance he fails to get it hard for long enough for a girl to moan his name, it doesn’t count. There is not much more explaining to do with this one.

Here is the bottom line gentlemen; If you want to be included in her “list” and be invited back for seconds or even thirds, you better lay pipe like a fucking master! Dick her down with all you’ve got the first time and she might never let you go. Plain and Simple!

Would You Like Something To Drink? You look THIRSTY……..

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Men and women alike both suffer from “the thirst” so don’t take this personally and if you do then maybe you are one of the aforementioned persons. I am delving into this topic because I have seen it run ramped as of late and find that I need to address it. There is a difference between interest and desperation and when you have crossed the line into desperation you are officially thirsty!

I have dealt with this many times in my life but since moving to Las Vegas I feel like I come across it much more. It’s a trip because you would think in a town full of sex and beautiful people, everyone would get their fill. Apparently that is not the case! In a previous blog I wrote about a girl who is essentially in love with whatever guy pays her attention. THAT IS THIRSTY! Now it works the opposite way as well. When a guy (no matter how much money he has) hits you up a million times a day only to receive one response back but still keeps going, THAT IS THIRSTY! I’ll give you 2 examples………..

Mr. Money-bags:

He texts, he calls, he Facebook messages, he comments on Instagram. He is two seconds away from a fucking restraining order. He is an ex athlete and current business man out of San Diego who I met while he was in Vegas. He drives a Bentley and has money to blow. You would think that all of this would be selling points for him right? Not so much. Between contacting me through the different social media outlets and then through texts and calls, I practically need to shower the stench of HIS desperation off of me! He will offer to take me on vacation, “Anywhere you want to go” he says. He wants to take me shopping and buy me whatever my heart desires and when I have done enough rejecting of his advances and offers he then proceeds to tell me that he will pay me to text with him!!!! Are you kidding me?!?! YUCK! He either never has sex or has a small dick/whack personality and has to compensate with his money.

Ms. Red-bottoms: 

She is between the ages of 21 and 30 (35 depending on the amount of plastic surgery she has had). She usually has huge fake tits and possible ass injections. Botox is a must and let’s be honest those lips aren’t real either. From what I have seen in Vegas she is usually bleach blonde but there are brunettes also and the occasional red-head. She works old men (Mr. Money-bags) for money and shoes. When the time comes to fuck him she either bounces or the money is so good she sticks around. He is not the only man her is harem believe me. She is working at least 3 others at the same time. If this girl is content with just enough then she will move from one to the next once they really push the sex factor but if she is looking to be taken care of then she will eventually give up and suck some dick or go for the gold and fuck them altogether.

Things to watch out for:

  • When you give He/She your phone number and you receive a text 5 minutes later saying “What’s up?”
  • He/She texts you 3 hours later saying “I miss you.”
  • He/She compliments you to the point where its creepy instead of flattering.
  • He/She invites himself over or out with you.
  • He/She tells you he really likes you after less than a week of knowing you.
  • He/She tells you he would treat you like a queen after only having met him once.

I see these people out everywhere I go. They aren’t bad people they just have different priorities. No judgement here. Live your life how you please, IT IS YOUR LIFE…….but for those of us who don’t live that life and don’t want to  be pestered with its inhabitants here is the solution. If you have one of these types on your hands, introduce them to their counterpart. Give your Ms. Red-bottoms to a Mr. Money-bags that you know and hope for the best.

CAUTION!!! Her Heart Lives In Her Vagina

Buyers beware! When you meet a girl and she is the type whose heart can be found in her vagina, enter at your own risk! Since the beginning of time (not really lol) women have been incorrectly stereotyped. I am not saying there aren’t plenty out there who do get immediately attached once they have had sex with a guy but there are the ones whose heart is more intensely linked to their brain than pussy. Those are the ones you should be looking for! You need to learn to decipher the difference or you will have sex with the wrong one and all of a sudden you have a stage 5 clinger on your hands, you are changing your phone number and moving to a new state.

Some women associate romance with sex more than others and those are the ones you need to be aware of when attempting casual sex. Because those women already have a predisposition to attachment, the release of oxytocin during and after sex is like the hyper-speed button on their emotions. It’s almost as if they can’t help themselves. Oxytocin is the hormone released during sex as a result of vaginal stimulation as well as breast stimulation. But what if that oxytocin released during sex makes a girl feel connected to someone who is wrong for them?

I know a girl who goes from guy to guy to guy hoping in bed and subsequently in love. She often doesn’t get to know who they are but has sex immediately and is immediately obsessed. She spends every waking moment with whatever guy she is “In Love” with at the moment and of all of those waking moments, 99% are spent fucking. You can imagine the amount of oxytocin released and why she gets so hooked. Of all of the conversations I have had with her most of them revolve around the great sex she is having. Her heart lives in her vagina and her hyper-speed button is basically stuck in the “ON” position. While she would like to think that her post-sex rush is really just how she feels about him, the truth is it has more to do with and orgasm induced release of oxytocin.

So how do you avoid getting wrapped up in the web of sex/love. I wish I could tell you a full proof formula to avoiding these kinds of women. My best piece of advice is what I always say. Honesty is the best policy. If a girl is going to fuck you day one then she is an idiot to think anything will come of it. There are exceptions to every rule of course but most of them time nothing will come of it. So your best bet is to be very honest. Tell her you are not looking for anything significant or serious. Let her know it was either a one time thing or it was just sex and nothing else. As long as you are honest with her you will have done nothing wrong.