Lust at first sight…..Hormone goggles gone HORRIBLY wrong

You would think there would be a stage in life when we stop acting like horny teenagers but Im starting to think that there really isn’t. I am 27 years old and still fall into lust at first sight! Many people however constantly confuse lust at first sight for the other “L” word. They are in love immediately and there is no room in their dopamine induced decision making for error. Newsflash folks, you haven’t found Mr./Mrs. Right you have found Mr./Mrs. Right Now.

Ask your self these questions:

  1. Do you like them as a person?
  2. Could you see yourself doing things with that didn’t involve partying or sex?
  3. do you both have the same work ethic?
  4. Do you both want the same things for the further?
  5. Do you both have similar views on boundaries in a relationship?
  6. Do you both have the same sex drive?
  7. Do you have anything in common?
  8. Do you like giving head and does he like getting it?

I am hoping that you recognize that the answers to these questions are important because they will make or break your potential to be a functioning and long-lasting couple. I know number 8 was a curve ball but it is really important. Believe it or not there are some men that don’t like getting their dick sucked and their are some women who love it more than anything and you better hope the 2 of you are compatible.

So many people these days are looking for a companion and they neglect to recognize that just because their bodies say yes does not mean that in the long wrong the head’s and heart;s wont say,  “Get the fuck away from me!” Hormones are a mother fucker and once they are in charge its the equivalent of beer goggles. Right around that time of the month for women our estrogen levels are through the roof and craving testosterone. You know what this means for you macho men? It means that around this time women are extremely susceptible to your macho charms. Get it it while you can guys because after this time she may not like you as much or even at all. LOL

A couple of weeks ago this type of hormone ambush happened to me! I swear I was totally into this guy. He was hot, big and an ex athlete. He had “MAN” written all over him and I wanted to jump him the minute I met him. I didn’t of course I kept control even though all I wanted to do was rip his clothes off. LOL We started talking and I thought I really liked him. Turns out that time of the month was right around the corner so even if I wanted to get down I couldn’t……..not yet at least. After I had shed my crazy so to speak, he called and we made plans to hang out. He comes over one night because I cooked dinner for the both of us. Immediately as he walks in the door he says, “Hey Babe” and nothing! Nothing happened……I had no feeling whatsoever. I looked at his face which he had not shaved, and his clothes…..needless to say the feeling of wanting to jump his bones or boner was completely gone! UGGGHHHH Are you serious? Like I was all ready to just go for it and now I couldn’t get into it if I tried. What the hell is that about? so I started to do a little research and came to the aforementioned conclusion. I Had hormone goggles on.

 

 

Im not a player I just Crush a lot

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So since I was a kid my friends have called me a “Man-Eater” LOL I am not saying that I am but I am saying that I usually have an attention span that last about 3 weeks before I get bored of whomever I am talking to at the moment and I move on. But this was when I was younger and although I still have the same short attention span I am more open to the idea of a relationship than when I was younger. So recently something was said to me that pissed me off but made my think.

A guy hit me up on Instagram and asked for my phone number. At first I said “HELL NO” because as most of you know I have a serious bone to pick with the idiots that use social networking as some kind of surrogate E-Harmoney. Not long after that he friend requested me on Facebook and I accepted. We spoke a little bit and after calling him out on some bullshit he told me, “If anyone has a shady relationship history its you. You are the player.” LOL are you kidding me???? Im a player? Well lets just clear this right the fuck up.

Player: A male/female who is skilled at manipulating (“playing”) others, and especially at seducing women by pretending to care about them, when in reality they are only interested in sex.

That would not be me! I am BEYOND honest at all times with men especially when I am not interested in them. I make it 100% crystal fucking clear at all times. So why would this guy call me a player? Well after a good conversation with a friend of mine where he told me that this guy is a fucking idiot, I finally figure it out. Rejection is a mother fucker and rather than reacting like a mature adult, he threw a bitch fitch and did the equivalent of telling me “You aren’t hot anyway!” LOL some people just cant handle it well. Unfortunately for him that kind of behavior is why he is single. For future reference if you want a woman you should probably act like a fucking MAN!

Double Dipping

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Double Dipping is usually a term used for someone who dips his or her chip takes a bite then dips again. I know what you are thinking. Are we talking about food or sex? Well for some the 2 go hand in hand but that is not what we are talking about today. I will save that one for another blog. LOL Have you ever known someone (or been that someone) who has kissed 2 people in one night or worse fucked 2 people in one night? Maybe you have set up 2 dates back to back and neither guy knows about it. Or were you the person it was done too? Either way I’m sure most of you have experienced this in one way or another.

Ok I have to admit, this idea for a blog came from an experience my friend had. He was on the receiving end but I actually have been the one to do it to someone else. I was 19 when I did it, young and reckless clearly. But first we are going to talk about his experience because we are all adults now and to double dip this day in age, short of being a hooker, is just bad form.

Recently a friend of mine was telling me a story about this girl that flew in from Miami to see him. She came here specifically for him! Keep that in mind when reading this. I’m sitting on his floor and he is telling me how this girl, who shall remain nameless, comes into town too see him but first stops at a club with her girlfriend to have some drinks and hangout. He decided that he didn’t want to go out because he was tired and had been out all week. Now this guy’s roommate works at Pure Nightclub, which just happens to be the spot, she decided to go to, and that is how he found out. Apparently after going out and getting sufficiently drunk with her friend she made out with some guy at the bar almost directly in front of the roommate. Little did the roommate know she would later go over to see my friend to fuck. He had no clue what she had been up to previous to ringing his doorbell in the wee hours but he would find out the next day. She had no clue she would be cut off but would soon figure it out when his treatment of her would become nothing short of “Fuck Off.”

No guy or girl wants to find out that they were a part of a pseudo threesome after the fact without their knowledge or consent. I am not saying that it is cheating or even wrong but in my opinion it is bad form. When you are young and you do stuff like that it is almost as if you are acting out. You get a pass because you have just figured out what sex is and are testing your own boundaries in regards to your newfound sexual freedom. You are dating and being a “Grown up.” You have watched far too much “Sex and the City” and are taking your lead from Samantha’s sexual exploits. I get it I really do; however as an adult you should have gotten all of that out of your system. You know better by now and it doesn’t have the same rush effect on you that it did when you were younger. There really is no reason to be fucking 2 people in one night or honestly even double booking dates and you sure as hell shouldn’t be flying from one side of the country to another too see a guy but first stop to make-out with another dude at a nightclub in front of said guys room-mate. This is a huge “DUH” moment.

 

Do Opposites Attract??? Or Blow Up In Your Face?

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Its all well and good if you 2 are night and day but if your differences are causing fights all day and night then you have a problem on your hands that no amount of proclaiming “opposites attract’ will help rationalize. A good relationship depends on a lot of factors but as it pertains to “opposites attract” it more depends on how you handle those factors. Are you understanding of your partners quarks and are they understanding of yours? You need to have more in common than your love of burritos and action movies. Of course no one wants to date themselves but if your “opposites attracts” refers to your core non-negotiables then no amount of attraction is going to help.

Depending on the type of person you are and where you are in your life, you will at some point date your opposite. The best thing about dating your opposite is that you are constantly challenged. You are exposed to the traits that you lack leaving you to go all Jerry Maguire on the person proclaiming “You complete me.” You see it all the time! The good girl falls for the bad boy who treats her like shit or the shy guy at work falls for the wild child party girl. The really sweet guy falls for the controlling bossy bitch, leaving his friends totally confused as to why he isn’t dating the nice girl next door.

Many people are attracted to their opposites only to find that as time goes on you are far more different that you ever suspected. Ask yourself this: after the honeymoon period is over, are the things you once found cute still cute or do they make you want to shove your partner in front of the nearest moving bus? A lot of people these days are so eager to shack up that they COMPLETELY  ignore every single red flag that pops up. In one conversation 10 deal breakers can come up and through the haze of delusion, both people will ignore things that will have them wanting to kill each other 6 months later. If you know that your boyfriends friends are annoying as hell and you hate all of them, there is a chance that you wont get along for very long. If your girlfriend hates kids and you want a tribe, your relationship is doomed. There are things to consider when entering into a relationship and if you choose to ignore them in the hopes they will change you are bound to fail. Ask yourself this: Would you change who you are for them?

 

 

Throw A Bitch Fit & I Will Treat You Like A Bitch.

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The dating world is a jungle! I have never really dated before but now that I’m older I’m trying it out. I like to call our generation the “Shack up Generation” because we don’t date these days, we hook up and are inseparable then we breakup and repeat. So instead of implementing this failing and immature plan of action I have decided to go against the grain. I am dating left and right! Just so I don’t confuse you when I say dating, I mean I go out on dates at restaurants with guys who ask me out.

Recently I was asked out but because of prior plans I wasn’t able to go out with him. I’m thinking it’s no big deal that we can schedule dinner for another day. Apparently that was not the case. This guy legitimately threw a bitch fit. He got pissed at me and his texts went from nice to short and rude. I was shocked! It had been a while since I had come across a man who threw bitch fits like a woman on her rag. I was actually so caught off guard that I really had no idea how to respond. I mean do I treat him like my 4-year-old nephew when he throws a fit? Should I reprimand him? Or should I just not talk to him anymore? I decided to rip him a new asshole. I know you are so surprised. LOL I informed him immediately that I didn’t know what his problem was but his behavior was not going to be tolerated by me. I am not the chick! He didn’t like that very much so instead he just didn’t answer back.

Here is the thing guys, if you act like a bitch you will get treated like one. You will get scolded for you poor behavior and then quickly cut off. I have no tolerance for childish behavior in a man and if a woman is smart she will recognize your reactions as red flags and keep it moving. Ladies if a man throws a fit or if you see any other shady or unacceptable behavior have the conviction to cut him off IMMEDIATELY. Otherwise later on down the line you will have a bigger problem on your hands.

 

# Puppies

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My friends and I like to call them “Pound Puppies” but if you are unfamiliar with this term then maybe you will recognize the term  “Scrub.” The Urban Dictionary defines a “Scrub” as: A dude who acts like a player or like he is something but really has nothing. A broke guy with no car, no job, no girl, etc. A loser with nothing to offer a woman. I am not sure why recently these guys have been coming out of the wood works but I have come across more than one in the past few weeks, which let me tell you at the age of 27, this should not be happening. TLC had it right, “He cant’t get no love from me.”

So last night my girl and I are hanging out at her place. I needed a night in and some cute boy entertainment so this dude and his brother were supposed to come over and hang out. They are both adorable and nice so Im thinking it should be chill. One ends up coming without the other instead of both of them which is only the first problem. He was supposed to pick up alcohol and bring it with him on his way and shows up without it and while hanging out with this guy we find out that not only is he not yet employed but younger than we originally thought as well. The later it gets the more Im getting tired and I want to go to sleep so my girl and I decide it is time for him to go home. Oh wait! It gets better. LOL He has no fucking car! He actually got dropped off and either thought he was going to spend the night or we were going to take him home. Are you fucking kidding me? Everything in me wanted to be an asshole and tell him to take a cab but I couldn’t do that. So we got in my car and drove him home.

The entire way home my girl and I were laughing and bitching about “Pound Puppies” guys that need to be rescued or taken care of and how the hell we ended up with one. I mean it was comedy. We are both 27 and looking at each other in complete dismay. Did we really just have to drive this guy home? Did that just happen? It makes me wonder how often does this happen to other girls. Do these men actually think its acceptable to be a bum? We are grown and even if you have a shitty ride at least you have a ride! Men have their shit together and on point. This was clearly a little boy and women don’t date little boys.

Starving for Attention……”Eat Me!!!!”

Have you ever been talking to a guy/girl who you like and want to date only for them to jerk you around? They like you, they don’t like you, they want to be with you, they aren’t sure. You get to ride the roller coaster with them only to have them come to the conclusion that they aren’t ready for a relationship. I know it has happened to all of us at some point in our lives, or even worse you have done it to someone else. In previous blogs I do encourage you to date people and really get to know what you do and don’t like in others. This however is not what I was talking about.

My friend was talking to a guy recently whom she had been talking to for a few years. After many “I love you’s” and making plans they finally met up when he came into town to see her. They had a great weekend together filled with laughter and plans for the future. The day after he went home he wigged out. All of the sudden he needs time and isn’t sure. He is overwhelmed. Bullshit!!!!!!   If he didn’t know what he wanted he should have been strong enough to vocalize that. Instead what he did was give her hope and talk her into something she didn’t even know she wanted, all because he was too afraid to be alone.

I see people do this a lot. I see it more in young people who are afraid to be alone and are starved for attention. They talk to multiple people and make false promises in order to give that person hope and keep them around longer. Some do it for an ego boost but most do it because they are starved for attention and validation. So all this being said, it makes me wonder……Why do people do unto others what they have had done to them? If a person has been led on and given hope only to be let down, why would they do it to someone else?