Since I was a kid my mother has been telling me to keep my options open. I can’t even count the times that I have heard, “Don’t put all of your eggs in one basket.” My mother was a wealth of clichés and with me as a daughter she needed to be. Growing up I was very picky. (Some things haven’t changed lol) When I did find someone who I liked I was all in immediately. I was horrible at juggling guys because that also meant juggling my emotions. I was very resistant to my mothers ideas and mottos all of my life and now that I am older I look back and can appreciate the importance of what she was saying.
As adults most of us learn that it is important to keep your options open. It isn’t healthy to jump right into a relationship without getting to know someone and if you don’t know that already well then hopefully this blog will help bring my point home. In order to truly appreciate and get to know the person you are talking to it is crucial that you have experienced different people. You can’t know what you like without first experiencing qualities that you don’t like. You wont be able to recognize the reg flags without having ever seen them before.
Recently I was talking to about 5 different guys at once. I know this is going to sound crazy but it was a long week and I gave out my phone number a lot. 🙂 (I didn’t sleep with any of them I was just getting to know them) So of the 5 guys, 2 of them were very quickly weeded out. One was attentive enough (turns out he had a girlfriend, dumbass!) and the second was far too attentive. Thank god for my experiences otherwise I wouldn’t have been able to recognize that behavior as someone who was desperate for any girl in a relationship, it didn’t matter who she was as long as she was hot. It took about two more weeks and one more was gone. He was a great talker; he spit game really well but just because you are a smooth talker that doesn’t mean that you are genuine. I was done with him. Then there was the fourth guy. He was really sweet, a little abrasive but a nice person at heart and had confidence. There were parts of his lifestyle that just weren’t appealing for me and to be honest I really liked the fifth guy so I had to break the news.
Sometimes juggling and keeping your options open is a really good thing. Keeping your attention spread is a way to regulate your emotions. It keeps you from diving head first into something you later find out was a bad idea. You can get to know someone on a human level rather than a romantic level. I highly recommend talking to multiple people in order to get to know them without the haze of attraction and romance clouding your decision making skills. That way you can find a person with whom you can have not only a friendship but who you also want to fuck the shit out of, so to speak. Great sex and a great friend, its what most of us are looking for.