Rest on Your Laurels


I know so many women who complain that the men in their lives compete with them. Whether it be in personal or professional achievements, I hear them bitch about how their boyfriend or husband is jealous of their success. How their insecurities begin to get in the way and become problematic in their relationship. Fighting ensues and sex goes right out the window. It is true, there is a problem nowadays with men who are increasingly “Bitch like” as I like to call it. However the fault is not solely theirs.

As a result of competing in what is seen as “A man’s world” women have morphed into men. Instead of flirting they network, instead of giving out their phone number they make business connections, instead of going on a dinner date they attend a business meeting. Women don’t wear skirts they wear pants, they wont wear an outfit they wear a power suit, their hair isn’t worn in a flattering way because they feel good, it is worn up or in a way that makes a statement. And if as a woman you are to play up your femininity you are looked at as using sex to get ahead. The problem is not career women per se but that women are increasingly out of touch with their own femininity and in tern out of balance with men.

I know I have felt this way at times. Being raised by a single mother didn’t help. I hang pictures up by myself. I wall mounted my own tv (much harder than you think btw). I moved my own furniture in and put together what I needed to. Now I know what you are thinking. You are saying to yourself, “Whats wrong with that?” Well it can be very de-feminising. You can be a strong woman and still allow your man to be a man. There needs to be a place for him in your life otherwise he will begin to feel not needed or wanted. I had to learn to let men open doors for me, and pay the bill without me offering to pay it or split it. I had to smile and say thank you when given a compliment rather than argue. It was difficult at first but it gets easier.

Much of men’s behavior is a result of cause and effect. The way a woman behaves towards a man will cause a reaction. So next time you complain about a man acting like a bitch, or competing with you and being jealous of your success think twice about your actions. You can be successful and still need him. Let him be the man. Let him take care of you. Who cares if your bank account is bigger than his, let him pay, don’t remind him that you are the baller. So what if you can bring in the christmas tree yourself, let him do it because it makes him feel strong and needed. Just because you can do it all ladies doesn’t mean you should!!!!!!! An if you are going to don’t complain!


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