Slotted In

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There are many red flags to recognize when entering into a relationship or considering dating someone. The one that I am addressing in this blog has mostly to do with the “In love with love” theory or the “Im ready, its time” idea. Its important to recognize whether it is the first which is a personality flaw or whether it is the second which is a timing thing.

The “In love with love” attribute is a reflection on the personality of the individual you are looking to date or who is pursuing you. (Man or woman does not matter) Since I am a woman I am going to speak in that context. Do you know what it says to a smart girl when a guy is too easily hyped on the idea of a relationship? It says to that girl, that she could be slotted in for any pretty face. It wouldn’t matter as long as they got along well enough and she was good in bed. I like to call it “Bad Bitch Syndrome.” However the second they fight or she becomes disagreeable the shine wears off and the haze disapates. She is no longer shiny and pretty instead now she has flaws. Flaws that he may not be able to deal with and he will quickly be onto the next.

The “Im ready, it’s time” idea has to do with his age and surroundings. Much of it has to do with his friends and family. Lets say all of his friends have girlfriends or wives and in both cases maybe kids. It is likely that he is feeling the pressure of his surroundings. He is feeling his age and is at the point where (to quote Sex and the City) his light is on. He is wanting a family and you will do. This is again bad because people are people. We all have bad habits and good, differences in opinions, ways of living, communicating and understanding each other. Eventually there will be disagreements and if that person is just the one you DECIDED to be with and not the one you ultimately love more than anything you are less likely to be understanding and forgiving.

These statements obviously work both ways. Both men and women do it. Look at Kim Kardashian. Poor Kris Humphries got slotted in. We all knew it. She wanted to get married and didn’t care who it was as long as he met a few base requirments. They didn’t bother to truly discuss and get to know each other. Which is very evident by there surprised reactions to each others polar differences in preferences of living locations and family wants, even down to the last name deabacule. They were a prime example of what not to do. Sometimes the person rushing doesn’t recognize what they are doing so it is your responsibility to see the signs and pull the reigns. Slow it down for them because they either cant or wont and in the end both people suffer.

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