The sparkle being gone is also known as “Too little too late.” It is when you have cut ties with an ex or emotionally shut down in a current relationship and they figure it out, come crawling back trying to make and effort and it is just too late. The sparkle is gone, the relationship has been tainted and unfortunately you can never look at that person again in the same way. This works for both sexes. Both men and women go though this.
My girlfriend is in town from northern California and whenever she is here we usually get into her love life. By “usually get into her love life,” I mean she feels the need to analyze every bit and piece of the ongoing back and forth of her past relationship.
Her and her ex were dating for a couple of months before they ever had sex and after that a little longer before they made it an official monogamous relationship. (He is 45 and she is 28 just to clear up any wtf look you might have on your face) After a good chunk of time had passed they had discussed everything from having children to getting married. Then the inevitable subject came up of sexual variety. In other words he was afraid he may not want to, “Eat peanut butter and jelly the rest of his life.” So her being who she is says they will cross that bridge when they come to it. However inside she took offense. She wondered why she wasn’t enough for him. (That is a whole other topic for another blog) Shortly after that while visiting her in NYC she caught him in a major lie. Well I should say he caught himself up. He butt dialed her while out trolling for other girls in NYC when she thought her had left back to Miami. DUMB! As to not drag this story on any further lets just say he got dumped, IMMEDIATELY. Good for her right? Well the next couple of months were spent on her part wondering why. She is gorgeous, take it from me she is. She is so sweet, masters in sociology and applying to law school so why the fuck would a 46 year old man who is clearly lucking out screw that up?!?!?!? He is an idiot thats why lol
Well they are back in contact now and she is explaining how she doesn’t think she could ever be with him again because of all he has done. She doesn’t think she can forgive him. Yet she is continuing contact with him and seeing him. Again I have to call BULLSHIT! Bottom line is that once the SPARKLE IS GONE you need to be woman enough to let it go. If you know that you cant get over the past then stop lying to yourself. It is the most destructive lie you can tell. Because at the end when all is said and done you can only blame yourself for the mess you are in.
Now I am not mocking her because we all do it. I am even guilty of it but I try to recognize what Im doing and let it go A.S.A.P. I recently went through a similar situation but the difference between her and I is that I knew immediately once I was over it, I was over it but she cant let it go. Granted our situations differ a little bit. The guy I was dating irritated me more than twice in a very short period and slowly but surely the things I found endearing became unattractive and annoying. Before you knew it I was saying “Peace out sweetie.” We had only been seeing each other about a month and a half and when I was done that was it! He came back around about a month later talking about how he missed me and didn’t understand why I had ended things so abdruptly. Now this isn’t the first time I have heard this out of a guys mouth lol and this isn’t the first time I have been brutally honest. (Surprised are you? lol) My words to him sounded something like, “Im sorry that you miss me but Im just over it. You irritated me one too many times in a short period of time. You were arrogant, elitist and condescending. I understand that you are intelligent and well educated however that is not a reason to treat others as if they are less than. I don’t know who you thought you were dealing with but I am not the one. We can still be friends though.” Thats right gentlemen not even a big dick will save you if your personality is no bueno. The same goes for the ladies. No matter how hot you are chicas, tits and ass is not going to save your ugly personality. The moral of the story is that once its over its over. You have fucked up and there is no fixing it. There is no making it better. So be a woman or a man about it and move on. If you think you can truly salvage the relationship and let it go then do so but also be grown enough to recognize when you cant. AND BE HONEST!!!!!!